Archive for May, 2009


Fun with internet!

Recently I have been wondering how people lived in the past without internet. But sometimes, I am forced to think that things would have been much easier back then. Why do we have to go through all of these complicated things now?

My website and blog faced a minor crash last night, I mean, my host is dead. I still haven’t received any response from my host yet, but I realise that I cannot wait forever with my dead site. And I decided to make a switch and am in the process of moving my internet home to a new host. Now that the decision is made, came the issue of backups. I do not take regular backups of my site. Luckily, the last one made was 15 days back, which was when I changed domain names. The past 15 days was also when there was maximum momentum in my blog. 

I spent the whole day hunting for cached pages to find the rest of the posts and comments. Most of the posts have been retrieved and the comments, hmm, are gone. I feel as if I have suddenly lost fond memories of having guests in my home! Anyway, I’m sure I will get more in the next few days…

A couple of posts couldn’t be retrieved. But they are as good as prints in my memory, so soon I will recreate them. I hope you feel as good as at home in this temporary blog of mine!

Edit(May 31, 2009): ALl posts have either been restored or recreated. I have lost the comments but I’m still waiting for my old host’s reply. I believe that I will get the backup of my old blog.

Harness

A traveller was visiting the country side and at one place, he saw an elephant tied to a tree. He couldn’t help but notice that the cord used to tie the elephant was rather too small to hold the big, majestic animal. But the animal was peacefully standing there and eating. He got curious and asked the mahout.

The mahout replied “I have been taking care of this elephant ever since his birth. I tied him with the same rope when he was small enough for the rope. He tried to escape for sometime and finally he quit. Now he has grown up much stronger, but he has no idea that he can escape if he tried. He just believes that he cannot move away from the tree”.

***

One day, we came across this couple with their 2-3 years old son. The father was holding an end of a toddler harness which was fastened across the child’s chest. The child looked happy and was hopping 2 feet in front of the father in a gait that reminded me of my neighbour’s puppy. That said, I am not going to analyse the pros and cons of using a harness because what they chose to do with their child is none of my business. But that sight affected me in many other ways.

The child knew that this 2 feet space between them would always be there. Never too far, never too near. Even when the dad was holding the rope loose, he played in the same distance and during the half an hour train ride we shared with them, the boy never once went closer to his parents for a cuddle or sweet talk.

The boy looked extrmely happy, not knowing that there was a wider world out there. Okay, now you might tell that it is of course safe for a child that age to be closer to the parents than knowing the wider world. But, has he been taught that running around the train station is dangerous? Or is he just staying there because he has no idea he can move anywhere other than around the tree his father?

***

I couldn’t help but relate the boy in toddler harness with the elephant tied to a tree. For thousands of years, we have tamed animals. And we condition the animals to live in a way we like. But we, human beings? Yes. We all are being conditioned in some way or other.

Why else would a child who stays cozily in the darkness of mother’s womb enters the world having no other fear than the fear of falling and sounds, gets a fear of darkness within the next 2 years?

Why would a 3 year old have so many unique dreams and 10 years later, most of these dreams are wiped of as unrealities and all he would want to do is to finish school, find a job and do what everyone else is doing?

Why is it that after all these developments we are going through, in most households, only women cook?

Why do people say that they are comfortable in their present job and life that they do not want to change? Excuse me? Are you resisting change because you are too happy in your present and do not want a better future?

No, most of them just do not want to change because they are afraid of losing their present.

Why yes, I love my present. I’m proud of whatever I have, But that doesn’t mean that it should be the same forever. Somewhere during our journey to adulthood, we are taught to drop all our dreams and embrace the present and stick to it. May be the first important lesson I should teach my child is “Don’t be comfortable”.

Don’t be too comfortable in what you have, son. Come out of your comfort zone. Face the world. Go on, and change!

What are those?

What are those strange little white buds?

Are they fences to protect the little treasures inside?

Or are they little buddies which line up around my finger and make me shout “ouch!!!” in a manner he thinks is funny?

No, they are his little teeth!

****

He is a bit late. He started teething around his first birthday. Good for both of us. For now, we both know how to better deal with it. Whenever it aches or itches him, he will take my finger and put in his mouth. Before he proceeds with something else, I get something for him to bite. He soothes himself for sometime and then goes about doing his things. Yeah, this is the coolest teething story I’ve ever heard.

***

Unrelated:

Added to surprises: Your toddler eats the food he had just thrown on the floor and you pretend you didn’t notice because neither you want to encourage eating from the floor, nor do you want to stop him from ingesting atleast something!

The power of spoken words

It was when the baby had just learned to crawl, one afternoon, I was sitting on the floor and playing with him. When he tried to move towards the bathroom, I said “Pappu, don’t go there. You will fall”.

And I repeated many times in case he missed my point. “No. No. Not there. You will fall”.

I still remember that moment, down to minute details. Because that was when I came to the realisation of my life. What am I teaching the baby? Am I teaching him to be safe? Or am I teaching him to fall?

To make my point clear, I shall share a story I heard somewhere. During a thunderstorm, 2 children were stranded in a tree. Both the kids’ mothers were there but rescue would come only after the storm was over. They had nothing else to do but to wait under the tree and support their girls. One of the mother cried “Honey, please don’t fall”. The other mother said to her daughter, “Honey, please hold on tight”. Not so long after that, the child whose mother asked her not to fall, fell fthe tree. The other girl survived.

Both the kids in this story just followed the words of their well-meaning mothers. It was nobody’s fault. But why did the child fall? Such is the power of spoken words. When the child heard her mother say “hold on tight”, the only thought in her mind was to hold-on-tight. But the other child’s mind was injected with the fear of falling. This works in accordance with the law of attraction. When you really don’t want something to happen, that something becomes your dominant thought and your body and environment goes it’s way to make that happen.

I do not mean it’s easy to control our words in all kind of emotions. But it is just acheivable. After this realisation, we decided that we wouldn’t speak anything negative in our house.  No, we do not even speak negative just for jokes. Even if some words like that slip out of mouth, we make sure that we correct it immediately. This learning process is fun. I decided that I should share this fun. I will be posting more on this topic. Together, we can all use this power for the best. Join in my journey!

Dear Hubby,
Here’s my list, as promised!

  1. You are ready to admit when you are wrong, even in the smallest of issues, which I kind of cover it up.
  2. You are a great learner and you do not give up easily.
  3. You make breakfast everyday, giving me enough time for making lunch, without having to wake up earlier than I do now.
  4. When you are not in office or at a business appointment, you are with me.
  5. Even though you are not a gift giver by nature, following my cues, you brought me the best gift last year.
  6. When you are around, the baby isn’t scared of anything.
  7. You make the baby laugh out loud like I could never do.
  8. You do not give opinions on my looks, you accept me whatever way I look.
  9. You make sure that I take my vitamins everyday.
  10. You remind me to drink water!
  11. You read my blog even though blog reading is nothing of your interest.
  12. At times you can survive with the simplest of foods available.
  13. You have no bad habits.
  14. You are very concerned about nutrition.
  15. You always make sure that we have the best quality things around us.
  16. You are ambitious, you want to be your own boss and you know the way to achieve your dreams.
  17. You are a lovely social being. People love to be around you.
  18. You are proud of yourself, for whatver you are.
  19. You are proud of me and our baby for whatever we are.
  20. You love me just the way I am.
  21. You are very forgiving. You know how to love people even if they have done injustice.
  22. Strong that you are, you never showed a face when the nurses had to poke you many times in an effort to draw blood for test. But when the same happened to our son, you lost control, got angry with the nurses for doing that, and you cried.
  23. Still you are emotionally strong. If not for you, I would have rushed the baby to the emergency room a dozen times last year even though he was perfectly normal all this while.
  24. You pamper me like a child whenever I need to be pampered.
  25. You have always been so understanding.
  26. You don’t force me into anything.
  27. You have a clean heart and you don’t hide anything.
  28. We both share a lots of interests, giving us enough chances do lots together.
  29. Finally, I’m just thankful that I have so many (more) things to say about you even though it was supposed to be just 10. And you complete me.

HubbyandSon 

Happy 29th Birthday, baby!!!

With Love,

Myself.

Oh, the joys of breastfeeding…

Dear Pappu,
You were about 2 weeks old when I first got a blocked duct. At that time, we were in a process of weaning you from the bottle and putting you on a fully breastfed diet. You were not nursing as much as my body had expected and your dad and I stayed up for hours in the middle of the night trying to relieve me of the pain. That night I understood what my mother had been telling. “Your baby is your medicine. The more he nurses, the better you are”.
During the weeks that followed, you moved to a fully breastfed diet and I got to understand the real pleasure of breastfeeding.
You were an efficient nurser. Atleast I convinced myself so, when there was a question about the too less time you used to nurse for. Most of the time, you nursed only 5 minutes or less and would feed again after 2 hours, which was too less according to the other mothers. I was convinced that you suckled so hard and thus you must have taken enough milk in those 5 minutes.
The amount of time I spent breastfeeding you would be very less compared to other kids out there. But I should tell you that those are some of the best moments motherhood has presented me with.
Now that you are an year old, people ask me when I plan to wean you. Why else would I still be shopping nursing clothes and restricting myself to the old fashioned same design clothes that have no style? I just tell them that I have no plans yet.
No son, I’m not done with this yet. I’m not ready to let you go away from this closeness, not so early. May be I will, either when you want to wean yourself off, or when you are 2 years old and have a mouthful of teeth and wouldn’t fall asleep until you have suckled for hours on an empty breast (like my mother warned me out of her own experience). May be by then I would want to stop! Definitely not now.
Love,
Mom
——–
P.S. Right now as I type this, you are asleep in my arms and nursing. I can feel my heart melting and pouring out of my breast, instead of milk.
Can someone survive consuming just a mother’s heart? Why not? Afterall you are a part of me and just over an year ago, my heart was pumping blood for your body wasn’t it?

Book Review: The Secret

I read this motion picture-turned-book, The Secret by Rhonda Bryne.

secret1

At a first glance through the pages, I realized that this was going to be either “Wow it changed my life” book or a “What the…?” book. I’m just fortunate that it turned out to be the first type.

“As you learn The Secret, you will come to know how you can have, be or do anything you want. You will come to know who you really are. You will come to know the true magnificence that awaits you in life.” — from the introduction

After finishing, I told my friends, if I were to list all the $20 I ever spent in my life, this one would be on top. This is something that changes lives.

secret2 

The book says that The Secret is the law of attraction. Like attracts like, talking at a level of thought. At this point, I was able to grasp something. Yeah, this pretty much explains how on somedays something that upsets me only attracts more bad things, shaping up the so called bad days which makes you feel like you are the most miserable person on earth.

According to The Secret, if used properly, the most powerful law of the universe can be explained in 3 simple words: Thoughts become things. To explain further, what we think in our mind is what we will hold in our hand.  

At this point, the book was getting hard to understand. And soon I realized that it was even harder to believe. Faith is not something that comes overnight, right. I had to first understand how this thoughts thing works. I wanted a believable and scientific approach. Not just superstitious. And I got a more reasonable one.

When we think, we are emitting frequencies which brings back similar frequncies toward us. We are like a human trasmission tower. Imagine sitting in our couch and waching TV. Aren’t we able to sit right here and change channels with our remote control? I don’t know how an antenna works. But I do know that every channel works on some frequency and with the help of the antenna and remote control, we change those frequencies. If this is possible, why thoughts could not work that way? It was surprising.

We always think. It is said that each of us have atleast 60000 thoughts per day. Quite a lot, huh? Now, if only we can control them! No its not possible to control or even monitor all our thoughts but ofcourse we could monitor our feelings. Depending on if we are feeling good or bad, we could change what we are thinking.

The most important lesson I learnt was how negative things appear in life even if we do not want it to come. Why do those get attracted? The answer was simple. The law of attraction doesn’t compute words of negation. When I don’t want something to happen, my dominant thought is what I do not want to happen. And that’s what happens.
It pretty much explained everything that happened in the past. The next few chapters of the book, about how to apply the secret, how to use the 3 step process of asking, believing, and receiving, etc, I should say, changed my whole life. Oh yeah, it’s not at all easy. Believing is not easy. But this book taught me that if only we believed, we could make dreams come true.

Another year, I forget!

The day started like any other. Waking up and cooking and having breakfast and then sending off hubby to office. It was all very normal. And then I sat down to chat with my mother, like I do everyday. She was curious. “You came late today. What are you doing?” After confirming that I was doing not what she was expecting, she waited for some more time and said “What day is today?”

And then it occured to me. Oh my GOD I missed some date, yet-another-time. I checked the bottom right corner of my computer screen and it says it’s May 22, 2009-11:10 AM. I was speechless for sometime, before I got her on phone her and said “Many more happy returns of this day, Mom. Happy Anniversary. And please don’t tell dad that I forgot. Let me call him now!”

—————————————

Dear Mom and Dad,
I know. I know that I forget every year. But I also know that you both are the most forgiving parents in the world. You know how to laugh and say “Our chukku hasn’t changed yet” and not take this personally. Much as I know that there’s no explanation needed, I still want to write this so that you can rest assured that I mean this, hmm, when I forget again next year!

Ma, Pa, I might forget dates. But I don’t forget anything else. I want you to know that I love you and think of you every day, every morning, not just a couple of mornings every year. I want to make everyday special for you just as this day. Probably that is why I never sent a gift for you. I want to give you the gift of happiness, every single day. And I promise you that I will live upto it.

 

I thank you for living your life. You ask ‘what???’. Yeah if you hadn’t chose to live the life you have now, I wouldn’t have been here right? I feel so blessed for my own life.

I’ve had a great childhood…

With a dad who will buy whatever his daughters would want, choose the bestestest gifts for them even though he never learnt how to shop for himself, would provide them with the most liberal environment I had ever known and keeping them in check at the same time…

And a mom who is everything that I would ever want from a mom, who has always been a friend and a guide who shares the world with me every morning and warn me when I am off track, and taking care of even the littlest details of my life even today, like cooking and cleaning and my health even though she lives across the world.

I’m continuing to enjoy the same benefits of childhood at 26 years now, which most people only get to enjoy until they are 16 or 17, and am living with the love of my life, the best husband of the world, whom you chose for me. My life is the best!

I feel as blessed to be in this family, that all I would wish for my son is to feel the same way after 25 years. It’s a blessing to have a happy child of that age, who loves you like they do when they are 1 year old! 

merlionpark

I love you, Mom and Dad. Sweet Kisses

Finally, shoes that go squeaky!

I think the next step would be the one with colorful lights.

 shoes

Parenting is a crazy stage of surprises. You get to do things that you have never done, have never thought of doing and the ones you promised yourself that you will never do!!

This falls under the third category.

In  my defense, pappu had not been so much interested in walking. (Why should you walk if you can crawl 4 times faster? ). But after we bought this shoe, all he wants to do is to walk. Son, if you are that passionate about walking, why not try doing it yourself?

He can talk

Pappu talks a lot these days. He wants to know the name of everything. He points at things and looks at me inquisitively. And I name it. Then he repeats. Our conversation goes like this.

He: Points at something. Mm. mm. mm.

Me: It’s a clock.

He: Ta.

Me: This is a book.

He: Ta.

Me: Car.

He: Ta.

Me: Honey it’s CAR.

He: Ta.

Me: Car. Say Car.

He: TA! TA! TA! TA! TA! TA! TA!

And he thinks that mom is crazy.