Dancers in a Thai Temple
Oil Pastels in paper
[4] Dancers in a thai temple
January 4, 2010
[3] More apples….
January 3, 2010
Apples
Oil Pastels in paper.
We had our year end party last week and I gathered our business team for a dance performance. This is the first stage performance for most of them and others had danced on stage once 15 years ago. We started rehearsing a week before the party and I was their coach. Frankly, I had expected some frustration but the group surprised me with their work ethics , punctuality and teachability. We mainly had fun, more often rolling on the floor laughing especially because this was among a close group of friends. We kept the kids with us while we practiced and the kids coordinated very well too.
I didn’t know how Pappu had taken the whole event. We didn’t explain anything to him except creating his curiosity by mentioning that mom and dad are going to dance on stage with his other uncles and aunts. It wasn’t until the next day after the party that I found out how much it had impacted him. I was humming our dance sequence and Pappu insisted that I play the song on the computer. The boy had actually caught some of our dance steps and was clapping and turning around exactly when we had done in our sequence. I had no idea that he had learnt the dance himself even though he looked very quiet and disinterested when we were rehearsing.
And the highlight was when the sequence was over, he raised his arms just the way we had done. These clips were originally shot for my mom and it makes me laugh everytime I see it.
Extended thought: He actually dances like this for 5 minutes continuously, many times a day along with his other activities. No wonder he doesn’t gain weight.
[1] Mommy blogging begins…
January 2, 2010
Hubby and I decided to stay up for monthly goal setting after sending Pappu to bed. So naturally, we left the lights on as we went for prayer time in our bedroom. After the last prayer was said, he promptly got out of bed, went around the house and instructed me to switch off every light and fan that was on in the other rooms. When everything was in place, he went back to bed to his dad and fell asleep immediately.
Behind this post title: I’m doing another NaBloPoMo this month. Ah! That said, I’ve made a commitment and there’s no looking back. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and the decision was made just a few minutes back.
I was considering if I’d be able to keep up with the commitment in terms of time, because if there’s one thing that changed since the previous NaBloPoMo month, it would be that I’m using every second of my ‘me’ time for painting. The second would be, the business is going faster making me busier for the time being. Nevertheless, I am doing the daily blogging but I’m not going to apologize if I’m posting only photos on some or most of the days of this month.
And, my son is growing up faster and is giving me enough short stories just like the above to write about. It’s a good thing, because I don’t have to truncate these stories endlessly so that they will fit my 140 characters twitter status.
I’ve never considered myself as a mommy blogger, but this month might even make me one!
What is rebellion?
December 30, 2009
I once told a friend of mine that I used to be a big rebel in the past. What I actually meant was, I have become rather flexible in some aspects of life. But she immediately replied, now that you are reading books, you’ll stop being a rebel. Oh’ excuse me!?!?!
But I have no idea where the notion of rebellion being bad came from. Reading became my habit very late in life, when I was around 17 before which I was good at submitting to values and beliefs. It was the books that I read which helped me become a rebel. Why, I’ve been happier when I became one, because I didn’t have to do things that I didn’t any faith in. Absence of rebellion is submission. I stopped submitting to things that didn’t make sense to me anymore. I was happier.
If somebody hadn’t rebelled would the world be like this today? Only because someone rebelled to being a slave, freedom was given. Only because someone rebelled to walk, the wheel was invented.
If I hadn’t been a rebel, I would n’t be here now, doing what I’m doing. I would still be working in IT from 9 to 9, leaving my child at a day care. Not a free person, able to do anything I wish. If Hubby hadn’t been a rebel, he would happily working 9 to 9 and aiming to do the same until 60 years of age.
Our families still don’t believe that we are working to retire before hubby is 35 years old. Oh well, that’s rebellion, but we are building our family’s future, an empire, rather than living from pay check to pay check, which we would have been doing had we submitted to the old values.
Why yes, rebellion is good.
Do I submit?
Yes, I do submit to a faith that keeps my spirit up. Yes, I do submit to a mentorship that has proven to work. And yes, I do submit to my family’s emotional and moral requirements.
But rebellion is good.
Growing up too fast!
December 28, 2009
Pappu has been talking with a small girl (he calls girls bigger than him as akka) in my mother’s neighbourhood in india. He knows that his grand parents are living in india.
Pappu: mama?
Me: I’m right here.
Pappu: papa?
Me: he is here too.
Pappu: akka?
Me: which akka are you talking about?
Pappu: india.
When did he grow up so much?
Hmm, well!
December 22, 2009
What do people say when they reappear after 2 months of sudden absence? Hmm, well, the reason for my absence is….
Anyway, I don’t have any particular reason because the concept of ‘not having enough time’ doesn’t even exist. I just didn’t want to write even though I had quite a lot to write. My childhood habits are still taking over every now and then. The habits that I totally ignore these days and let it do whatever funny stuff it wants to.
I have always had so much to do. I could paint well, I could sing and dance pretty good, recently I started writing too. And then I had to read continuously for 3 days in a stretch without caring much for food and sleep. Oh yeah, I really did that when I start reading any novels. I just had to complete it before putting it down. And there were times when I couldn’t breathe without listening to music. All of my so-called habits had designed my life. I’m an addict.
My hobbies are like my alter egos. Every now and then, one of my hobbies take over and pull me into it completely.I forget everything else and I don’t even struggle my way out. People used to say that this is the factor that pulls me down. I was under that impression too, until recently when I decided that I need freedom; freedom of choice, freedom of decision, freedom of time, freedom of money and freedom of hobbies. When my heart flows for something, I give it my fullest potential. But I can’t afford to think, I’ve been painting nicely these days, so I need to force myself to paint until I become a master of painting. If I find my interest shifting from painting to writing one day, I’d rather start writing when my passion is completely into it, rather than forcing myself to write when I really don’t want to.
I’m probably one of those very few addicts that are proud of their addiction.
19 months
December 11, 2009
Dear baby,
You are full of energy and its really amazing to see your emerging personality. You are fun to be with. The biggest thing that happened during the past month is you are starting to treat your father and me equally. You understand that both of us are important now, whereas you had taken me for granted all this while, totally ignoring if I disappeared from your presence for the very short period that I really did. Now you miss me, just the way you miss your dad when he goes to office every morning.
You talk quite a lot, everything a baby is supposed to say, except ‘no’. I don’t intend to list your vocabulary but some of the fancy words that you say, which I love to hear are ‘ovo’ for Oreo, ‘awo’ for yellow, ‘anko’ for uncle, ‘aoty’ for aunty, ‘apeen’ for aeroplane and ‘sidee’ for CD (this started 2 months back). These days you have started saying the words in your vocabulary in a more accurate manner, like ‘bus’ instead of ‘baa’.
You have almost mastered shapes and colors pointing to them when asked. You are right most of the time and you even pronounce them well. Your favourite shape is ‘damda’ for diamond. You can even show the diamond shape with your fingers.
You know almost all words in all of your books. But when I show you a ship, you said baa baa. How unfair that they find out a language which would confuse babies between ship and sheep! After a long following up from me, you are almost convinced that a ship goes on water while sheep says baa baa.
You love to run. Sometimes you run all the way from the train station to our home, a short distance, but I don’t even consider running myself. You can climb more than 4 storeys up through staircase continuously without my help. I have no idea how many storeys more your stamina will allow you to climb, but I love you too dearly to test your limits.
You love to dance. Sometimes you surprise me by developing new passions. Last week your passion was to crawl. I suppose that was inspired by your 11 months old little friend.
It’s been a month since your little cousin visited us, but you are still talking about her everyday. The other day you found your old bottle teat, put it in your mouth and informed me that it belongs to your cousin Nannu. When she was here, you secretly took her pacifier and plugged it in your mouth. You still remember that feeling.
Your father bought a new shoe and you have been overflowing with love for that shoe. By this, I’m not even exaggerating. You always want to carry it around the house and yesterday you even attempted to hold the shoe against your cheek in an act of love. It’s annoying me but I should say that you have actually learnt to walk pretty well in those giant size shoes.
When I give you something that you like, you say thank you. It sounds so cute that I want to bite you… In fact, I don’t do the biting part only because I don’t want you to learn biting from me!
Recently you have been not very happy about the person who cleans our block. He comes and talks to you but you seem to be wary of this person. You run away from him and cling on to me. The other day you came back home after confronting him and kept telling me ‘anko’ (uncle) with mixed feelings.
You were doing quite okay with pets, happy to watch them from far away and quickly grabbing my finger if they got closer. Did I mention how scared I am with pets? I love to watch too, but I can’t take it when they come close to me. I had been telling your dad that one day I’ll change my behavior in this and I’ll bring you closer to those animals so that you can play and be brave. But the other day, we were all going out together, a stray cat jumped in front of us out of the blue, shocking all of us. The only reason I didn’t scream was because you surprised me by screaming on top of your lungs, grabbing my finger and running to the other side. I quickly picked you up, your father tried to calm you down but you were scared and we noticed that you were not happy whenever we came across that place. Now, even when you spot a cat picture in your book, you relate to me about that incident.
Your father and I have been very careful in the way we talk or build your emotions up. Most of our friends also understand this very well, so it was easy to maintain that kind of environment around you. We never said or acted in any way that would inject fear in your mind. It’s hard for me to see your little heart filled with fear but some things are inevitable and both of us have to go through it for the time being. I’m trying hard to set this straight, but that would also mean that I should overcome my own fear first. We both are learning, honey, and I hope I would do my best…
Love,
Mom.
18 months
November 18, 2009
… plus 10 days…
Dear baby,
We are in this time of your life where we start to say your age in years rather than months. One and a half years. Oh dear, when did time run so fast? I look at other babies who are learning to walk and think that my child is almost that age. I turn towards you and see a big boy twice as tall as those babies.
You like to socialise with other babies and adults. You love babies but you are also learning to get possessive about your toys you have become very possessive and over protective all your things. The best thing about you is you are so understanding for your age. Whatever situation we might be in, calmly telling you what decision you need to take helps. You listen and even if it’s hard, you accept it.
You talk almost everything. I don’t even try to count the words you speak. There are so many, even though, most of the time, only your father and I understand you. I’m so thankful that there are no negative words in your vocabulary and all of your actions are totally positive.
You know everyone in our immediate family and friends who you have met or talked with often. You mention our friends by name and delight and say their names when we approach their homes. You even mention their child’s name if we ask which baby is in this person’s home.
I am amazed by how you relate things. I almost always comes as a surprise when you relate things that I never would have thought of. I now perfectly understand what other mothers mean when they say “who would have thought of that except for my child”. Why, even I say that now.
During the past week, you had been saying your little cousin’s name whenever you saw your animal book and asking me where she was. I couldn’t understand why you would relate her to your book, we didn’t even use that book when your cousin (my sister’s family) visited us last week. It took some time for me to find out that whenever you saw a picture of an elephant you said her name. It was not until today morning, when your dad and I found out that your little cousin had an elephant soft toy in almost the same color as that in your animal book. Well, who would have thought of that???
Last month I discovered a playground in our neighborhood that’s just right for your height. That gave me the confidence to allow you to climb things in the play area without me breathing over your shoulders. It also means that I can sit and relax or probably read a book while you play, giving you a sweat without tiring myself out.
It even gave me the confidence to leave you alone in big play grounds and you have even learnt to climb tall ladders meant for big kids. I don’t even put my arms on you while you climb. I just watch. You wouldn’t understand why this is a big thing. Only my mother will understand how painful it would have been to me to let you climb scary places and keep my calm. I tell you, it takes a lot of effort from me to let you do that.
Last month you also ventured into the zoo for the first time. My observations are, you love all animals, you are scared of big birds and your favorite was the zebra. You tried to imitate all the actions the animals did and you can relate your body parts with that of other animals, birds and even toys, whatever shape and size they might be. It’s almost a month now, but you still show in action how zebra moved it’s tail.
Until a week back, you were eating so well and my strategies worked perfectly well (giving you a sweat and bathing you before lunch so you get very hungry and tired that all you want to do is to eat and sleep). This past week, you have started insisting that you feed yourself. In fact, you want to do everything by yourself without help. This new change has reduced the amount of food intake during meals. My only sigh of relief is that you are learning a new skill and you will be feeding yourself so well in a few days. But you still love fruits and nuts and thye make their way to your tummy in an effective and effortless way.
You still breastfeed during night. I have stopped making it a big issue. What’s so troublesome for me if you want to keep suckling while we sleep?
You are a darling. You can behave like an angel this minute and become a tyrant the next. And then you become an angel again. It puts pressure on me in public and while with other babies,especially because sharing has become an issue, but all I know is this too shall pass. I am patient and calm. Take your time, baby.
Love, Mom.
Apples, anyone?
October 28, 2009
Edited in response to comments: Thanks everyone, for the encouragement. Just to clarify, they are photos of my painting. Pastels on paper. My first experiment with soft pastels (these are hard soft pastels though) which I bought by mistake during my hunt for good quality oil pastels. Since they cost a good amount of money and I can’t return them to the store, I decided to use them. I have to say that I love them, even though they can never replace oil pastels, which I think can never beat oil paints. Well, I can’t wait for my son to grow up enough for me to start painting oils again!
