They never tell you at the childbirth classes that…

  1. There will be a dozen or so of 18th century bras in your wardrobe, all of them the same colour and design.
  2. You would have to take showers with the door open.
  3. You should use the public toilet with another person inside, even if its just a small baby!
  4. You would sing songs aloud while using the public toilet.
  5. You will learn to use the toilet while holding the baby.
  6. Deep sleep is a dream of the past.
  7. You will learn to politely say ‘no’ to your husband.
  8. You will ever say ‘no’ to husband.
  9. You will hate to measure your waist.
  10. There will be hair balls the size of a foot ball in the shower drain everyday.
  11. You would no longer be tensed at the sound of a screaming baby!
  12. Breasts would no longer be sexual to you. you wouldn’t mind showing it front of a dozen other women and a lactation consultant, or seeing other women do the same!
  13. Babies behave strangely in front of other people making you look like a bad mother who doesn’t even know when the baby is sleepy or hungry.
  14. You smell of spit-up, but somehow, you don’t care.
  15. There’s no such thing as a ‘baby smell’. When people talk of the special baby smell, they either mean spit-up or Johnson’s baby powder!
  16. You will be capable of using the word ‘poop’ 13 times in a single post.
  17. You will ever buy shoes that make squeaky sounds while the child walks.
  18. You will buy things because the other children have them!
  19. Your toddler eats the food he had just thrown on the floor and you pretend you didn’t notice because neither you want to encourage eating from the floor, nor do you want to stop him from ingesting atleast something!
  20. At the end of the long day, you are as shameless that you steal water from your little one’s bottle. Did I mention that it applies to food as well?
  21. Spit-ups disappear all of a sudden. But it actually is replaced with spitting voluntarily.
  22. A little child’s shoe size can change drastically over a span of 4 months. In fact, your husband might argue that it was only 3 months!!!
  23. And then there are shoes with attractive lights.
  24. Babies are forgiving.
  25. Babies and toddlers have a great memory. One bad experience with a cat can make them scared of cats for the next 6 months.
    1. And that will force you to change yourselves and start being friendly with cats so that your child can see you and learn.
  26. End of breastfeeding might mean more chances for you to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes, especially around the upper body.
  27. Boys’ clothes are just as attractive as any girls’ clothes can be. Period.
  28. Children grow up too fast.
  29. You want your child to be smart and all, but there are some skills that you wish your child hadn’t learnt, like opening the zip of your purse or removing his own diaper.
  30. You’d love your ‘me time’ so much that you wouldn’t mind being awake at 3 am in the night making use of the time.
  31. You will learn to give-in.
  32. You’ll be convinced that there needn’t be a source to everything. There are some things that are learnt from nowhere.

This is a growing list of surprises we get after child birth. Feel free to add your own points to this list…